Dear George Clooney

Dear George Clooney,

Congratulations on your engagement!  I wish you and your beloved nothing but the best.  CNN was kind enough to post an article telling us the most important things about your loved one.  If you agree with CNN's synopsis, I just wanted to bring your attention to my equally compelling qualifications.

1. "She's a well-respected attorney." I wanted to be an attorney.  Correction: I wanted to be the first female Supreme Court Chief Justice.  Or, astronaut.  I am a moderately-respected, mostly-tolerated teacher.  Pretty much the same thing.

2. "Clooney isn't the only one who finds her attractive."  

Many find me attractive.  I get lots of compliments at WaWa.  To be fair, they are silent compliments with stares.  You see, when I smile?  My eyes disappear and it looks like I only have eyebrows.  I attract attention.  I also attract vomit.  Baby vomit.  For some reason, they puke on me.  Could be the eyebrows...

3. "She's a world traveler."

I have a passport.  I've been to the Caribbean and Mexico.  I really want to travel and bring life coaching services to young women around the world...help them find their voices.  But, I'd settle for Epcot.  Plus, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White could use some support.  "What was it about the spindle or apple that was so important?"  "Where did you feel that in your body?"  I know that since they were in long term slumbers that they have had plenty of time to reflect on this.

4. "She's discreet."

Google my name.  I'll wait.  Do you SEE my name linked to any celebrities?  EXACTLY!  (Channing Tatum, Marky Mark, D.B. Woodside, Dominic Purcell, 90210's David Silver after graduation but before addiction, Carlos Bernard, Any of The Doctor Who Doctors- Tennant or Smith especially- pay attention!)   The article lists your bride-to-be as 36.  I have at least 30ish more months of discretion on her.  Do you know the name of my 6th grade boyfriend?  See!  We held hands roller skating and everything.

5. "Alamuddin must be special."

This is implied because you "had no desire to marry again."  I'm pretty special.  I have no desire to marry again.  Neither does my husband.  I tell my husband on a regular basis how happy he is to have married me.  

6. "Her co-workers are happy for her."

I imagine my co-workers would be happy for me.  There's the whole, "We get to meet George Clooney" pipe dream.  People want to know how Carol and Doug ended up.  And, shouldn't Alicia on The Good Wife get a cameo appearance from Doug?  Maybe he and Carol are suing their former hospital for [insert name of ER storyline here] and Alicia is representing them.  EMMY GOLD!  BTW- I get we wouldn't be able to invite my co-workers to our wedding.  Because of charity.  But, my husband?  He has to come.

Good luck, George Clooney!  To you and anyone else in my circle with an upcoming wedding- yes, you!  Remember, the wedding is a day, your marriage is for life.  Hold firm to the one you love.  If you have to punch paparazzi in the face to protect her, good job marrying a lawyer.  (Although, if you married a teacher, you'd be better off.  We'd provide you with alternative thinking strategies to punching someone in the face.  And, we'd be too busy grading papers for the paparazzi to notice us.) 

The Giver, The Getter, & The Gotter

Do you know people who are just great gift givers?

One of my friends gave me an awesome purple necklace.   Well, it's a wrap bracelet and I'm totally inept at fastening it, so I wear it as a necklace.  It's unique in presentation as one observant individual noted- "The beads' spacing is off."  Yes, it is.  It's a morse code bracelet!  The message is "Kindness is my religion."  The necklet (new word!) itself is funky but I doubt it was selected for me based upon color and unique concept alone.  This person KNEW me.  The fact that SHE selected THIS expression for ME brought us that much closer together.  Do you ever feel that you try and try and try but...no one sees you?  I felt seen.

Another friend gave me a "just because" gift.  She repurposed an empty glass jar of sour balls that I had given to her.  (To be clear, there were sour balls in them when I gave them to her.  But, I'm not bitter...)  The inside of the jar was sweet.  Notes.  Lots and lots of notes.  Morsels for me to chew on.  I was supposed to pull out one at a time, from time to time.  Nuh-uh!  Not me.  I poured them out like a waterfall of love and was moved to tears at their creativity.   Tonight, I randomly pulled out five.  The "..." are to maintain some mystery.  (Plus, I hope she will transform them into a feel good book.  And dedicate it to me.  Because.)

"Rock out to 'Mahna Mahna'...goofball."  "Stop on a random line of a favorite book...finish the thought any way you'd like."  "You are ahead of your time...forgive them."  "Write about it...for three minutes...You go now!"  "I love you.  That is all."

That is all?  Are you kidding me?  That's everything!  It's a jar of love.  Someone who knows me, someone who sees me, someone who gets me?  Do you ever feel like it would be so much better if someone just got you?

Two different gifts.  One purchased, one homemade.  One selected with intention.  One designed with it.  Both reflect with such clarity how much "got" I am.  (Yes, grammar police.  I get that ain't right.)  I can't help but wonder how the depth with which I get myself helped my friends to get me.  Kindness IS my practice and words ARE my passion.  A gift I hope to give myself is an openness to share them with others without fear of judgement.

It's wonderful for others to get me...but I've got to get myself if I want to be a great giver.