Guest Blogger: Welcome to the Universe, Heather Harlen!

How do I know Heather?  Let me count the ways: friend, writer, friend, teacher, friend, advocate, friend, published novelist, friend, cheesy music listener and horrible complainer when not doing well in a game (just saying).  Did I remember to mention friend? Excuse me…FRiend?  Thanks for visiting my Universe, Dear Heather.  

Grateful For A Gravestone

Dear Universe,

Sometimes I wonder where all of my energy went.

A typical Saturday in February 1996: wake up, hang out with my host family, visit museums in Madrid with my roommate and some friends, take a nap, do some homework, have dinner with my host family, go out dancing at 11pm, return home at 7am, go to bed. 

A typical Saturday in February 2014: wake up with cat next to me, look out the window at more falling snow, read, call husband up to bedroom to snuggle, get up, drink coffee, have breakfast, read some more, write, watch the snow, take a walk, shovel snow, correct papers, do household chores, eat dinner, watch House of Cards, go to bed. 

On Facebook, I “like” the club we used to go to in Spain. Joy Eslava is a converted theater and still looks just as dramatic and fun as it did back when we’d literally dance all night.  We put the carpe in Carpe Diem - we seized the day and the night.  I can’t do that anymore and nor do I want to; and, I never want to forget what it felt like to be in a sparkly mini dress while dancing with a thousand people to pounding techno music.  

So thank you, Universe, for putting this gravestone in my path the other weekend. The walk was just supposed to be a morning jaunt around town, an opportunity to soak in some much-needed winter sun and get the blood flowing.  While avoiding icy patches on sidewalk near a cemetery, I saw this:

Those three words. So simple. Make Today Count. I can’t stop thinking about them.  Sue Jeffers was born the same year as my father. She died when she was only 39, my exact age.  I found one item about her on the internet, her obituary.  It turns out she was also a writer (technical writer) and she started a cancer support group called Make Today Count, hence her epitaph.

Now that I’m closer to 40 than 20, Carpe Dieming makes me really, really tired and cranky now.  Being up past eleven is a feat that makes me feel like I’ve earned a gold star.  Trying to get the most out of every single minute of every day is exhausting, especially when I’m now a wife, writer, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, and more. 

Sue’s post mortem message to any passersby is staying with me as an adult cruising toward middle age.   I’ve been trying to make each day count now in small ways.  Making sure to hand out extra compliments to students, friends, store clerks, my family, my husband.  Cutting a grading session short so I can spend more time with people rather than papers. Less multitasking. Making sure I read and write each day.  Playing with our cat every time she stares at me.  Which is a lot.  Carpe Dieming would probably put me in the hospital for dehydration and exhaustion, anyway. Making Today Count energizes me. 

So thank you, Sue Jeffers, for your words of wisdom from beyond.  

How can you find small ways to make today count?

Heather Harlen is a writer and teacher.  She is currently working on the sequel to her first novel, HOPE YOU GUESS MY NAME: A THRILLER.  You can find more about at www.heatherharlen.com. 

My Mission To...

I’ve been fascinated by space for as long as I can remember.   I’m oh-so-very intrigued by the colonization of Mars planned for 2024-ish.  (Relax, I haven't applied!  Yet...)  

What's that?  You want me?  In order for me to go to Mars, here are my Must Haves.

1.  You must let me bring my cat.  Not the one who is scared of everything but the one who is social, lovable, and craves attention.  There are many benefits to pet therapy.  You want to limit the Cray-Cray in space?  I’ll even let other people interact with my KarmaNaut- you just have to share your freeze dried chicken with him.  (After you warm it, of course.)

2.  I have to bring my husband, even if he is knocked out and it is against his will.  He’ll get over it once we are there.  If I learned anything from Mission to Mars, it’s preferable to have a married couple around.  Now, some of you may be wondering why my cat was listed as number 1.  When the husband wakes up and discovers he is on the Red Planet, my only chance of forgiveness is number 1.

3.  I’m an avid reader.  I understand it isn’t practical for me to bring all of my print books with me, so I will accept a limit of my twenty favorites as long as my Amazon account works for my e-reader.  (Speaking of accounts...can I access my Netflix?  If not, Houston...we have a problem.)

You may be wondering about my qualifications.

• I've read the entire Red Mars trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson.  (I didn’t understand all of it but I did not give up.)  Unlike the First Hundred from this novel, I will follow all of your rules.  (Until you stop monitoring me.)  (Just kidding!)  (No, I’m not.)
• I know almost all of the lines from Space Camp.  “Jinx put Max in space!”  (Movie fans- did you know that Max was played by a young Joaquin Phoenix?) I know better than to give a metaphorical command in a literal manner to a robot that only understands things literally.  (Unless it is the android from Almost Human- then, all bets are off.)
• I watch Doctor Who and Torchwood.  ‘Nuff said!
• In my current profession, I am organized, reflective, and poised in a crisis.  You will appreciate that the first time someone punctures a hole in the hull.  (I will have duct tape.)  

Not convinced of my credentials?  Here are some snippets from my most recent letters of recommendation: 

“Her positivity and patience with staff encourages them to be open and honest but also to strongly self-reflect.”  

“Suzie’s facility with reflective practice is truly exemplary. Her unique ability to see an educational issue from all angles makes her a valuable team member and thinking partner.” 

What about perspectives from those closest to me?  I sent some friends a text and simply said, “Say something nice about me.”  Their responses made me sit taller the rest of the night.

"You are a genuine and sincere person.  And funny."  

"I completely trust you."

“The way you speak your truth helps me figure out and speak my truth. You are a loyal, fun and quirky (in a good, refreshing way) friend. I can count on your insight to help me be a better teacher/writer/person.”

“You are one of the smartest and kind hearted people I know.”

"Smart lady and talented writer."  With prompting, "Beauty is a given."  (That last bit was from my aunt.  Sometimes...you want to hear you are pretty.)

It’s truly a gift to see yourself reflected by others.

But...do we really have to apply for a job, set up a new business, or move to Mars to hear positive thoughts about ourselves?  Think about someone in your life.  What's something nice that you could say about that someone "right now?"  Pause in your reading and text, tweet or FB them.  Right now.  Do it!  Are you done?  Now, do it for yourself.  There's no need to wait for positive comments from others to appreciate ourselves.  

Mission accomplished.   

Image by Christopher Friebolin