Thursday, July 31, 2014

Midlife Revelation

Today's an important day in history- some people's histories. It's my birthday. It's my preference to mark this with no hubbub. Ask anyone who has thrown me a surprise party. So, why announce it this year?

I'm familiar with the midlife crisis. Read about it. Watched movies about it. Witnessed it as a young adult. When would mine come? What would I do? Tattoos? Have them designed and ready. (Somewhere in the universe, my aunt just had a pang in her chest and doesn't know why.) Dye my hair purple? (My stylist is doing a fist pump and mixing color.) Buy a motorcycle? To be fair, I wanted a three-wheel motorbike a few years ago. (Stylist's husband shakes his head. One wheel too many.) Quit my job, move to Europe, write/coach full-time? (My cats hiss at the thought of quarantine and a decline in income.)

But, oh...that last one. There's something delicious there.

I was facilitating a coaching session with Karen and she coined the term "Midlife Revelation." Hearing that phrase? My body was submerged in an ice bath. I am having a Mid Life Revelation. It's what drew me to blogging last fall. It's what made me take the leap and step into training with Leadership That Works. Tattoos, purple hair, and fancy wheels aside, authenticity is my passport to transformation.

It's important to have vision and secret dreams. Saying them aloud is the first step in achieving them.  I want to develop a network that promotes self care as precious, wanting as powerful, and that the "but" has purpose. There. I said it. What does it mean for my future? I don't know! But every choice I make is made with the dream in mind. 

So, back to my birthday. I brought my thoughts about this occasion to my peer coach and he asked me why I like to celebrate birthdays of those close to me. "Because they matter!" And, then, he did that dirty little coaching trick and flipped the message on me. Clever, clever. He asked me to speak my truth- who am I? I said all true things about my emerging self but felt disconnected from my body while saying them. And, then?

The Red Cardinal Appeared. Again. 

"Those who attract the cardinal as their totem are naturally energetic, love life, and happily help others where/when they can." My ice bath runneth over. The cardinal invites me to step into what I know to be true.

I, Suzie, matter. I deserve to take up space. Happy birthday, Suzie.



Sunday, July 13, 2014

Guest Blogger: Welcome to the Universe, Sarah Haykel!

Do you know Sarah?  I met Sarah Haykel when I was searching for a professional Life Coach.  I was intentionally looking for someone who had strength in body awareness.  Through working with Sarah, I learned to trust my intuition with myself as much as I trust it in interacting with others.  That gift was priceless and I am incredibly honored to have her voice in my universe.  Enjoy!

The Most Important Question an Empath Can Ask Herself

At home in your physical body is the key.  

How do you feel in your body right now?

What sensations do you notice as you sit here and read this article?

Is there an opening in your chest, a deepness in your jawline, a frivolity in your pelvis?  

Is there a sadness that is waiting for its time to be felt, to be expressed?

Is there a joy so vibrant you want to jump up and down and scream it from the rooftops, who cares what your neighbors think?

Bringing your awareness to your body and how it feels in the moment can be a tool of self-awareness and even greater, self-empowerment.  

As a very sensitive person, some call an “empath,” I’ve realized that I pick up on a lot other people’s energy, emotions, thoughts, states of being, and at times, when I’m unaware, take them on as my own.  I can act out, feel sad, get angry, judge myself and others, feel jealous, want to scream.  But why, I ask myself?  And more importantly, whose energy is this?  

That last question is one of the most important I’ve used over the past couple of years to free myself from the binds of feeling and taking on other people’s “stuff” and energy.  I know the word “energy” used to be pretty “woo woo,” but now it’s become a mainstream term to describe this feeling we get when we’re aware of what’s happening inside our bodies and around our physical bodies in life.  

Let me clarify one main thing: it’s not that I don't have any of my own stuff.  I surely do.  This question: “Whose energy is this?” allows me to see and understand what is mine to deal with and what isn’t mine, or more importantly, what is someone else’s part to play in what I’m feeling.  This question gives me the necessary room and space to inquire within, when noticing the sensations of my body, and get clarity on what’s mine to deal with, if any of what I’m sensing is mine to deal with (a powerful distinction indeed).  I can also get clarity on whose energy it is that I’m feeling in my body or around me.

Sometimes I notice when I ask myself, “Whose energy is this?” and a name pops up into the center of my chest (where a lot of my “inner guidance voice” speaks from), I feel an instantaneous lightness, like “Ah, that’s whose it is.”  I don’t feel angry or judgment towards this person, I just feel clear, and the part of the energy that’s another person’s or part of the collective energy of many humans, leaves my energetic “field,” which I would call my internal body and the space around my body.  

My main goal in life is to feel good, to feel amazing in fact.  So when I feel energy or emotions in my body or around my body that don’t feel good, that’s a sign to me that I am out of balance within myself or something around me is out of balance or alignment.  This is when I start to inquire, when I get that uncomfortable or disconcerting feeling that something isn’t quite right.

I have to be honest, at times I feel scared to know how much of the uncomfortable energy, emotions or thoughts I’m experiencing are mine because I don’t want to be “wrong,” “bad,” or a part of an interaction or energy that is detracting from joy in life.  This is when I must draw up my own sense of self-compassion, self-love, self-forgiveness and honor for myself and where I’m at on this journey called life.  

At the same time, this awareness also allows me to be more compassionate, loving, and forgiving towards others and honor their journey in this life as well.   Plus, it is one of the most humbling and freeing feelings to take responsibility for my part to play in a funky situation.  It is also equally as liberating to free any energy or emotions that are not mine so others can own their parts to play in these situations. 

Whose energy is this?  A powerful question that can free you both in taking responsibility for your part to play and releasing any energy, thoughts, and emotions that are not yours to deal with, allowing others to be responsible for themselves, their thoughts, emotions, and actions in their own lives.  
Freedom.  I guess that’s one of my other main desires in life!  Free to Be All of Me!

How about you?  

What is one way you can start using this question: “Whose energy is this?” to free yourself to be all of you and add more joy and juice to life?  

Click here to receive Sarah’s Free to Be eBook that’s coming out this summer!  It’s free and will guide you through an important 5 step process so you can be Free to Be!  
Sarah Haykel, aka Salsa Sarah, has launched The Sensual Body Movement for women to reclaim their sexuality, embrace their divine femininity, and express their sensuality from an empowered, intentional, clear and conscious place through dance and life coaching.
As a trained Latin, W. African, hip-hop, and break-dancer over the past 14+ years, and with her own style of freestyle and improvisational sacred dance, Sarah uses her expertise to bring you deeper into your own sense of empowerment inside your body.
As a certified professional Life Coach, Sarah works with one on one client’s and groups through Body Centered Awareness. The body is a tool for providing information, support and guidance to bring you into greater alignment and harmony within yourself and all of life.

Live a life empowered and juicy from the inside out.  Join Sarah in The Sensual Body Movement by going to sarahhaykel.com for information now.